A Fine Morn in July
by Ms. Donovan and Ms. Midnight
Summary: An OCintensive, celebratory, goofy, simpleminded, and egostroking little pile of TumnusOCness. You'd love it! Rated for minor language and innuendo.


**Congratulations and welcome to our 1st year anniversary. What happens now? Well, we look upon our greatest achievements. Such as….**

**Semine completing the Contest of Doom! kafkaf Eight Days Before the Anniversary kafkaf**

**Kali living through the year! **

**Kali actually updating her personal account! (wheeee!)**

**And a total of 161 (give or take) reviews!**

**So we'll do what we do best, and write crap fanfiction whilst ducks are taped to our heads. Blame the Midnight Sister. **

--

A spry little dryad looked at her naiad companion. "Look, just because my leaves fell _once_ doesn't mean I shed!"

The naiad grinned. "Shedding is shedding, regardless of the species. For instance, I'm sure this wonderful example of a faun sheds when spring comes." The naiad gestured at a rather taken aback Mr Tumnus.

"I'm afraid I must apologize for my friend's stupidity. She hasn't had her herbal tea this morning, and the shaman said—"

"I do _not_ need to go to the shaman for those spasms! It's hereditary!"

"And now you understand."

The naiad, who had continued to rant, stopped. "You mean, he heard?" She silently cursed. "Didn't mean to do that. Shall I suddenly and conveniently hear my mother calling? Or do you wish me to stay long enough to keep him interested, _then_ hear my mother call?"

Mr Tumnus blinked. It was the type of blink that one should be able to hear, it was so pronounced. This being Narnia, there was a slight_ pnk_ noise, but it wasn't enough to be noticed. He considered walking out of the clearing, but was sufficiently interested by the conversation and the dryad that he stayed.

"Do you happen to have a name? Or shall I force my unmedicated friend here to forever call you 'this wonderful example of a faun'?"

Mr Tumnus blinked again. "Mister Tumnus. Though I do like to be considered a wonderful example of a faun."

"Wonderful hoof color. You are an excellent specimen of the species. Perhaps we should ship you off to the Narnian Scientific Society for research."

Mr Tumnus blinked and was furious with his own cheeks. Damn them, they were blushing! How dare they! He made a mental note to separate them from his body as soon as proper anesthesia could be found.

The naiad coughed. "Do I hear my mother calling yet? Or do you still need my support for fl—Owwww!" Her ear was suddenly and violently boxed.

"Can you be good for a few more minutes?" The dryad didn't have teeth, and yet managed to grit her statement out through them. A weak affermative was heard from the naiad.

Mr Tumnus waited for more to happen, then went on with the intended conversation. "You wouldn't happen to have a name? Or should I just call you a 'wonderful example of a dryad'?"

"Flattering. Flattering will get you most places. But I do, in fact, have a name. It's Oak." Oak gave the naiad another small punch. "And this squirming mass of trouble has many names. The one she goes by is Fontain, but most people just call her Idjit."

"It's true. They do, and much to my shame, I respond." To Oak, "Do I hear my mother yet?"

Completely ignoring Fontain, Oak spoke to Mr Tumnus. "You wouldn't happen to have plans of any sort for tomorrow's lunch?"

"No." Mr Tumnus had considered briefly replying, "I plan to eat lunch," but that might raise more problems, considering the giddy naiad in their company.

"Good. I had planned to eat lunch, but those are now out the window. Which inn do you prefer? Earthen Badger, or Drowning Rat?"

"Drowning Rat. Best food I've ever tasted. And very few rats. And all of those are respectable customers."

Oak smiled. "I'll make reservations." She waved a hand and a thousand small leaves blew off in the wind. ("Hah! You _do_ shed!" _Whunk!_) "See you at eleven?"

"I'll wear my good scarf."

"Good. And Fontain, you hear your mother calling."

"Oh, goody!" Fontain jumped up and ran off in a random direction. "Oh, make-believe mother! Hide me from the sight of my friend flirting! Keep me from the visage of my near sister kissing a _goat-boy!_ And oh, yes, kind friend! Details will be spilled after lunch tomorrow!"

Oak blushed. "I am…humiliated."

"It's alright. Idjit doesn't bother me. She's even endearing if one looks past the impropriety."

"Impropriety?" Oak stood up, and quick as thinking, stole a kiss from Mr Tumnus. "Impropriety is undervalued in many cases."

A shout from deep in the forest, "Hah! Told you!"

Didn't you know that "Mister Point Tumnus" was his actual name? It's much better than "Mister Dot Tumnus" because that sounds like a girl. Maybe it's "Mister Period Tumnus." But that makes him sound like a really long time.

**-There is an S in wish.**

**-That's something I will carry with me always.**

**Who gives two shits about Hell's china?**

**She doesn't mean that Mister Lord-God-Like-Person.**

**No one knows how to flir.**


End file.
